Say What?

PC (pre-children). This is an existence that you soon forget once you have children. The life of late night partying, sundays in bed, mid week dinner outings, clean house, silent tv watching, days without hearing "Hola my name is Dora"....the list goes on.

PC we all have expectations that we are going to be "brilliant" parents and we will always do and say the right things and I think at times PC we believed that parenting was "easy" and all those parents who complained, must clearly have issues.

WELL weren't we mistaken.

As Miss A has changed very quickly in the last 6 months, she has developed a fabulous personality and a charming attitude to go with it. But recently the thing I have loved the most is the crazy things she does and the hilarious things she asks for, and in return the bizarre things that come out of my mouth.

"Take that out of your vagina". these words came out of my mouth today and even as I spoke them I laughed so hard. REALLY, did I ever expect PC that I would be telling my nearly 3 year old to remove something from her vagina?



So it got me thinking, what are some things that I never expected that I would say or do PC, so I came up with a list:

• "Don't touch your poo" 
• "Please don't bite my bottom"
• "No I will not be cooking playdoh for dinner" 
• "why are you eating a 5c coin?"
• "of course you can have an iceblock at 730am"
• "yes we can listen to the tiger song(Katy Perry Roar) 
• "No you cannot see Grandpas penis" 
• "No I don't need you to wipe my bottom"
• "Get off the floor and stop acting like a child"
• "I'm not eating dinner with you until you put your undies on"
• "Stop licking my leg"
• "yes i know my bottom is bouncy"
• "No you cannot drink my wine" 
• "Don't push that baby...Don't pinch that baby.....Don't smother that baby.....SERIOUSLY just get out of that baby's space"

"Get your head out of my vagina"- seriously i never thought I would say the word vagina more that I do lately. Surely even an OB/Gyn doesn't say vagina as many times in a day as me. This quote came from when Miss A thought it would be interesting to put her head up my dress and her face WAY too close to my vagina- while I was on the phone to a friend.

All of these things I say, and many more. Provide endless entertainment to those PC friends. To those friends with kids- the entertainment is greater, because deep down they know, something more bizarre probably came out of their mouth at some point that day!!!


So, what are some things that you say on a daily basis, that you never expected to hear yourself saying?