Fear of the????

Recently I have had conversations with a variety of people about fear. Although many of the people I spoke with didn't use the word fear, they used words like "worry, not sure about, don't like it, not interested in that"
Some of the things that people have been fearing have been genuinely scary, someone I know her boyfriend had an unknown mass on his brain, another was going for a job interview, one friend had a new baby, another friend was travelling 14 hours on a plane with a 5 year old and a 6 week old.

Now each of those things are different and what makes one person feel afraid, may not affect the other.

So What makes us feel fear?

the definition of fear is:
"An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat"

On a daily basis we do things that are dangerous but we learn to control our fear, because we live these experiences daily and from living we learn that danger does not always result in a negative outcome. 

This weekend I completed a Raw Challenge, 6km with 30 obstacles. Once upon a time I would have laughed if you asked me to even attempt it. But I overcame my fear and my doubts and I completed the entire challenge. I did all 30 obstacles. I climbed 4m walls, I climbed over rope towers, I walked through chest high mud pits on multiple occasions. But the once obstacle that really got me was the 3m length of monkey bars over a huge pit of muddy water. I have always feared and known that I cannot swing on monkey bars. 

Yesterday was different, I stood there and I looked at the bars and watched others attempt to cross. I said to myself you have been training at the gym for 4 months now. You are fit and you can do this. So off I went one bar at a time, swinging and gripping on for dear life. I made it half way and slipped and dropped into the water. But you know what, I am PROUD that I conquered half the bars when once I never would have attempted. 

what ever it is that you might be afraid of every day. Don't be. Don't let the fear of the unknown stop you from reaching your full potential or being the best that you can be. There is no such thing as failure if you try. 

START DREAMING AGAIN!!!! 

R U OK?

Today is a day where we need to be brave and start a conversation. A friend, family member or someone at work. Ask them, R U Ok? It could change their life, or even save their life.

This week is also focusing on suicide awareness. In my life I have been affected by suicide both a family member and a close friends brother. The impact that suicide has on a family is long lasting and devastating. I also personally have spent many years battling with mental health issues.

So it is safe to say that a day like today really touches my heart personally.

1 in 7 people in Australia will suffer from depression. That statistic is huge and cannot be ignored.
For so long depression, anxiety and suicide have been taboo subjects.

THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE.

Almost half (45%) of Australians will experience mental illness in their lifetime.

Mental illness does not discriminate. Men, women, adolescents, the elderly, mothers of young children. everyone can be affected.

If you are feeling low and haven't been able to shake that mood for some time, please seek help. Speak to your partner, friend, GP or family member.

It might be the best conversation of your life and it might change your life in a big way.


If you are feeling suicidal contact Lifeline’s 24 hour crisis support service
on 13 11 14 or seek immediate help from a GP, psychiatrist or a psychologist.

Deserve to be loved

At this moment in time I am comfortable and happy being single. I feel I have a long walk ahead and before I can invite someone into a relationship, I need to have a loving and trusting relationship with my own head and my own heart.

Throughout my experiences I have learnt to look at myself in a different way. To realise that I am who I am, imperfections and all and if someone loves me they will accept these things. But I also learnt that I am not perfect and therefore I can't expect any future relationships to work until I look inside myself and work on those imperfections that might get in the way of a good relationship. These are some of the things that I have learnt:

1. People love you because they want to love you

We are all human, we choose to be friends with people because we can. No one forces me to love my friends, if for some reason I changed my mind, then I could walk away. But I don't because I love them, every part of them. I had to relise this about myself too, my friends, my family, love me because they want to. You can't force someone to love you. After 7 years with my ex, I have learnt that no matter how much you love someone and how much you force them to love you back, in the end its their choice, they decide who they love. But one day someone will walk into my life and won't have to be reminded to phone me back or to take me on special dates. One day someone will want to love me and will want to do everything in their power to be in my life.

2. Honesty 

To tell the truth is vital and necessary in any relationship. But one thing I have learnt is that lying is so easy, for anyone. For any relationship to be strong and to survive honesty is vital. If the person you love can't respect you enough to be 100% truthful and honest with you then I believe the question needs to be asked, do they really love you? 

3. Doubting means trouble 

Reality is you shouldn't have doubts. If you love your partner and they love you, there should be no doubts. This again comes back to trust and honesty. When people are in a healthy relationship they are joyful (most of the time), they aren't fearful. If you feel constantly down in your relationship, it is not a good sign. Talk about it. Fix the issues before they get worse. 

4. Don't let the past block your future

We all have a past. He does, she does, you do and I do. But the thing is, that is not the current. Learn from the past relationships and grow from them. Don't repeat them. But most of all, don't believe that every man you ever form a relationship with will always be the same as your ex. We all get hurt, its part of life. Don't take your past hurts out on your current relationship. Turn your past hurts into wisdom and future love. 

One day I will use these things and form a solid relationship. But for now I need to heal the hurts and find some wisdom.