At this moment in time I am comfortable and happy being single. I feel I have a long walk ahead and before I can invite someone into a relationship, I need to have a loving and trusting relationship with my own head and my own heart.
Throughout my experiences I have learnt to look at myself in a different way. To realise that I am who I am, imperfections and all and if someone loves me they will accept these things. But I also learnt that I am not perfect and therefore I can't expect any future relationships to work until I look inside myself and work on those imperfections that might get in the way of a good relationship. These are some of the things that I have learnt:
1. People love you because they want to love you
We are all human, we choose to be friends with people because we can. No one forces me to love my friends, if for some reason I changed my mind, then I could walk away. But I don't because I love them, every part of them. I had to relise this about myself too, my friends, my family, love me because they want to. You can't force someone to love you. After 7 years with my ex, I have learnt that no matter how much you love someone and how much you force them to love you back, in the end its their choice, they decide who they love. But one day someone will walk into my life and won't have to be reminded to phone me back or to take me on special dates. One day someone will want to love me and will want to do everything in their power to be in my life.
2. Honesty
To tell the truth is vital and necessary in any relationship. But one thing I have learnt is that lying is so easy, for anyone. For any relationship to be strong and to survive honesty is vital. If the person you love can't respect you enough to be 100% truthful and honest with you then I believe the question needs to be asked, do they really love you?
3. Doubting means trouble
Reality is you shouldn't have doubts. If you love your partner and they love you, there should be no doubts. This again comes back to trust and honesty. When people are in a healthy relationship they are joyful (most of the time), they aren't fearful. If you feel constantly down in your relationship, it is not a good sign. Talk about it. Fix the issues before they get worse.
4. Don't let the past block your future
We all have a past. He does, she does, you do and I do. But the thing is, that is not the current. Learn from the past relationships and grow from them. Don't repeat them. But most of all, don't believe that every man you ever form a relationship with will always be the same as your ex. We all get hurt, its part of life. Don't take your past hurts out on your current relationship. Turn your past hurts into wisdom and future love.
One day I will use these things and form a solid relationship. But for now I need to heal the hurts and find some wisdom.
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