Cubby houses and life decisions.....

What to do??????

Life brings choice and opportunity and freedom. I think all those things are fabulous. Aren't we so lucky to live in a country where we are given the option and the availability of so many things.

It wasn't that long ago that women couldn't vote, that contraception was taboo. These things that often as women we take for granted. I often wonder if I lived in a different era....would I have burnt my bra?

I was given the opportunity at work today to increase my hours. They asked me to work an extra day, so increase from 3 to 4. They said I could do reduced hours on the extra day, maybe 9-3 instead of 9-5. They also offered me to take over the role and responsibility of a National education project. It is a real compliment to think that they believe I have the skills and capacity to do this project and they want me there for extra time.

But what do I want?????

I had Miss A over 2 years ago now. When I was pregnant we spoke about me and work. I always wanted to be a SAHM, I wanted to be there and watch my baby take her first steps and I wanted to bake cakes and go to coffee dates and park play dates. I wanted to be the mum who volunteered at the school canteen, who went on class excursions. The mum who had home made cookies fresh out of the oven after school. I believed I should be at home. I believed that for me that was the right and only place for me.

But life changed that's now not me. I am a working mum now and I'm ok with that. I don't love the thought of being away from Miss A. But i do know that she thrives at day care and she is thrilled to spend the day with her friends. I know that neither she or I is any worse off because of me working.

But do I want to be at work another day?

There are some days that I don't want to be a grown up anymore. I'd like to pack by back pack with my paper and crayons, some biscuits and juice and I would like to build a cubby house under the dining room table with a huge bed sheet. I'd like to take pillows and teddies and hide away and live im my imagination.

Obviously I can't, I'm 26 with responsibilities and an adult life.

So today there won't be any cubby houses and there won't be any escaping reality. I'll put on my brave hat and I will face life and make a decision. What that decision will be....I don't know. But this I do know. I love Miss A and she loves me. The amount of hours I work won't ever change that. I want her to be provided with the best that I can offer her. I want her to have a strong role model and I want her to see that no matter what choices you make in life, everything happens for a reason.