Sometimes I think I create my own stress. There should be clause in parenting that says “you will never be able to do it all”. I think I can do it all, or I want to be able to do it all. My floors aren’t always clean, I always have laundry to fold, Miss A watches tv when she shouldn’t, I don’t always wear make up and we don’t eat vegetables every day.
As we all know parenting (whether alone or not) is a 24/7 gig. I don’t like to think of it as a job, but its definitely an experience, not something you do as a hobby or an occasional adventure. But it’s a full on, full time life changing, most rewarding experience of our lives. But don’t judge me when I say, sometimes I don’t always think of it this way.
Today Miss A was refusing a midday nap and in the process of encouraging her to lay down on her bed, she exploded with frustration and punched me in the eye with a set of keys. It was at that moment I walked away, I shut her bedroom door and I took 2 minutes outside her room. I was crying, she was screaming, but I knew that we needed time out, otherwise we were heading into a place of angry faces.
Thinking I could be blind forever, (slightly dramatized) I went back into her room and sat down and hugged her. ‘I sorry mummy, I hit keys in your eye’. Those few little words were enough for me to forget that I was angry. Forget that my eye was about to explode and remember that she is 2 and sometimes she can’t control all those emotions and thoughts that are travelling around her tiny head. So I squeezed her and kissed her and told her we were going to the park. Escape the apartment and feel the sunshine.
So I think it’s time to take off my super woman cape. Being on my own has forced me to focus on whats important. I can’t raise Miss A, work part time, have a clean house, bake fresh cookies every day and find time to sleep occasionally.
I was once a mother who baked home-made goodies 3-4 times a week, I would make home-made baby food, I cooked from recipe books with fresh ingredients, Miss A wasn’t allowed sugar until way past her first birthday. Now I cringe when I see that she’s eating a chocolate biscuit at 6.30am, has scrambled eggs for dinner and knows that at McDonald’s there are chippies.
DON’T JUDGE ME
I invite you to take off your super mum or super dad cape, whether you are a single parent or parenting in a couple. Take a breath, take a moment to focus on one important thing that you CAN DO and forget about everything else today. If everyone is wearing clean underwear and has food in their belly- no matter what it is. What else matters? Really is the world going to stop? No. take time out for YOU.
Being OKAY with who I am as a mum and what I can achieve, loving Miss A, enjoying each moment I spend with her and providing the best I can for her. That’s all I can do and I’m happy with that.
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